satan goes to church

[wildman2]

Satan goes to church

A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The old man replied, "Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. ""Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

"Yep," was the calm reply. "And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan. ""Nope."

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"


The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

[wildman2]

As the fireman reached the third story window with his ladder, he sees a beautiful young blonde in a transparent negligee.
"Don't be afraid" said the fireman "We always save pregnant women".
"Sir I'll have you know I'm not pregnant".
"I'll have you know your not saved yet".

[wildman2]

Brad, a guy on the local beach just couldn't make it with any of the
>girls, so he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard
>has
>any advice for him.~ "Dude, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're
>wearing them baggy old swimming trunks that make you look like an old
>geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a
>pair of Spandex Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a
>fist-sized potato down inside 'em.. I'm tellin you man...you'll have all
>the babes you want!"~ The following weekend, Brad hits the beach with his
>spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and for cryin' out
>loud! - it's worse than before! Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as
>he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking
>sick!~So Brad goes back to the lifeguard again and asks him, "What's
>wrong
>now?"~ "Jeezzzzz!" says the lifeguard....... "The potato goes in front!!"
>--

[Edward]

right on bro how ya doing

[wildman2]

k you

[a pink punk]