Hi there, My name is Greg Almon and i have a confession to make.
I was a coach to the chinese speed skating team. Many would say i'm a shameless lying bastard and i admit here that i indeed am. Now that i finally got my fat white ass out of China, looking back on the days, besides being a sex addict and the fact that i couldnt keep my dick in my pants, i was amazed and amused by the extent of lies i told to get laid. I'm not full of myself and i know that a guy like me wouldnt get much chances but i have this gift that i could weave a lie so well that i fooled them all and got what i wanted. See, i have this psycological problem that everytime i tried to pick up a girl i lied, but i'm done with pretending cause even a man like me needed a break of truth time. Plus, i figured many other jerks out there can benefit from my techqiues so without further ados, here's some of the favourite lies i told.
Lie No.1: I was an army pilot and based all across the world where my legendary heroic stories took place.
Lie No.2: I was originally an Argentinan and had lived there till i was 9, the same year they took my dad away and killed him for against the government.My mom sent me away to live with my aunt in Canada which broke the little heart of mine and i later blame the traumatic childhood experience for being the looser i have been.
Lie No.3: This is the one many loathed. I played all single(of course i didnt wear the wedding band). Since i figured my wife was back in Calgary,Canada and busy feeding my new born child, it woundnt harm to lie a little to get myself some fun. But guess what, i couldnt stop there and it only got worse.
Lie No.4: I once told a girl that my brother got hit by a car so as to get away and take a break.
Lie No.5: I once told a virgin (who i dated and really wanted to ****) that i loved her, but she didnt put out,very much to my disappoint.
Lie No.6: You wonder how i got away? To pick up a girl applying the above lie was easy but it's how to get away that racked my brain, especially when i didnt want to bother with the breaking up. The one worked out best was that my visa was expired and that i had to leave the country. There was once i didnt even bother with that and i just disappeared magically, stop calling, dont answer the phone, acting like a complete jerk and the girl will break up with you.
Lie No.7: In a few cases where they did find out,i told them that i had felt extremely guilty and tortured, well like they were the first one i checked on my wife with, but of course i sure made them felt that way. The first one was a little hard and i had felt guilty, but after that, it got easier each time and my concience wasnt troubled at all.
There are also little lies that i told to back up the big ones but i wont bother you here with them. See, who said married man cant have fun? As long as you know how to lie like me.
Greg
Just cant live a lie!
Originally Posted by Charger
