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Thread: Joke

  1. #1
    Admin Charger's Avatar
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    Joke

    One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.
    Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

    So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

    So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

    Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

  2. #2
    To die is to live J_Dawg's Avatar
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    haahaha



    "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free...it expects what never was and never will be"--Thomas Jefferson

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    Admin Bluetiereign's Avatar
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    Charger...Charger...Charger...

    All of this work to do back there in the office... and you are out here telling jokes..

    Shame on you.. but that was funny.

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    Admin Charger's Avatar
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    (They never let me have any fun here at CPD...it's, "Charger take out the trash"..."Charger, can you change my ink cartrage"..."Charger, run to McDonalds and get me a burger"...hum bugs!)

    This ones funny to...

    This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 dollars. She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet -- the guys at the factory bet him 50 dollars that he wouldn't stick his taliwhacker in the pickle slicer.
    The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact. He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.
    “But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband.

  5. #5
    Admin Bluetiereign's Avatar
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    A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains
    without water.

    His horse has already died of thirst.

    He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last
    breath, when all of a sudden; he sees an object sticking out of the
    sand several yards ahead of him.

    He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what
    looks to be an old brief case.

    He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

    She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull gray dress.

    There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind
    one ear.

    "Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work. You have three
    wishes."

    "I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust an
    IRS genie."

    "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks
    like you're a goner anyway!"

    The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie
    is right.

    "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."

    ***POOF***

    The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.
    And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

    "OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

    "My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."

    ***POOF***

    The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
    gold coins and precious gems.

    "OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good
    one!"

    After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... "I wish that no
    matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

    ***POOF***

    He turned into a tampon.

    The moral of the story:

    If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string
    attached.

  6. #6
    Comanche Fighter Squadron W@tchtower*CFS*'s Avatar
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    So, your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing.
    You're okay with it because you get to watch sports all night. You
    hear her stumble into bed around 4. You wake up next morning and go
    outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night. You are happy
    to see it all in one piece.







    But.....wait a minute ...........What the?.....













    *CFS* Own the Skies

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    hey charger you are the best person ever, so buzz off man i own you

  8. #8
    To die is to live J_Dawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lt.zero
    hey charger you are the best person ever, so buzz off man i own you
    say wha??


    ( Blue, you need to change something, cuz I dont like having to use at least 10 charecters to post a message)



    "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free...it expects what never was and never will be"--Thomas Jefferson

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    Admin Charger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lt.zero
    hey charger you are the best person ever, so buzz off man i own you
    I'll send you the $12 for that plug tomarrow...

    ( Blue, you need to change something, cuz I dont like having to use at least 10 charecters to post a message)
    ..an I'm wid'him on that one.

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    hey cherger

    those are ok jokes charger but here is one,once upon a time there was a little boy sitting in the tub ans he examed his testicals and said mommy and there my brains? and mommy said not yet hunny

  11. #11
    Moderator HUTCH SC95's Avatar
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    LT. Zero was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
    The little boy was playing with a pile of dog crap. Curious, the LT. Zero walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of s#&%?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of s@#&, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SGT. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of s@*&, was asked by the 1SGT "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SGT. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough to build an officer"

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    lol

    funny joke,well thats the best until i can pull on out of my pocket


  13. #13
    Admin Charger's Avatar
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    Good one Hutch.

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    Re: Joke

    It's awsome charger
    Last edited by Lt.zero; 07-25-2005 at 06:09 PM.

  15. #15
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    Re: Joke

    Thanks for sig
    Last edited by Lt.zero; 07-25-2005 at 06:09 PM.

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