Rules Women Should Know
Rule # 1
Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2
If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
Rule # 3
If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and saying it
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Rule # 4
It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those
stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
Rule # 5
Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how
pretty you are?
Rule # 6
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
Rule # 7
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done- not both.
Rule # 8
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials or time-outs.
Rule # 9
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
Rule # 10
When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp,
your shouting "This is our exit" is not necessary.
Rule # 11
We will leave the toilet seat down if you reset the seat position in
the car after you drive it.
Rule # 12
You can't expect us to be sensitive and vulnerable AND expect us to
kill roaches and spiders.
Rule # 13
We don't want to hear our horoscope. Ever. And don't dismiss our
behavior as being typical of whatever sign we were born under.
Rule # 14
We are not to be held responsible for answering questions to which
there is no answer (e.g. "Am I fat?" "Do you think she's attractive?"
"What are you thinking?")
Rule # 15
If you are unhappy with your weight, that's your problem. Don't make
us go on a diet with you.
Rule # 16
If it looks clean, it's clean.
Rule # 17
For every ten minutes you get to talk about fashion, diets, makeup,
and emotions, we get ten minutes to talk about cars, tools, hunting,
fishing and sports.
Rule # 18
Don't nag about how much we drink. It only makes us want to drink
more.
Rule # 19
Clothes are allowed to go on the bedroom floor over night if we think
we might wear them again tomorrow.
Rule # 20
We will go with you to take dancing lessons if you go with us to take
shooting classes.
