JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?
Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The
chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call
it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross
the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking
American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with
a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed,
I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives called
into question.
GRANDPA
A: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How
many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.
Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever
motive there was.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an
inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What
do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to
cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roads
throughout history.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens.
I have never known any chickens.
