My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not
as sharp as it used to be.

I used to have Saturday Night Fever... now I just have Saturday
Night hot flashes.

Ever get the feeling your stuff strutted off without you?

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old... as long as she
buys him a few drinks first.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose -- some parts of
my body are just prone to swinging.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not
as sharp as it used to be.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

I think I've reached my sexpiration date.

People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life,
provided we get cable or that dish thing.

The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at
our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for people my age,
but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes -- think of it as your
inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down... it's too hard to get back up.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not
as sharp as it used to be.