You know that you've joined a redneck HMO if:
* The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's
* Directions to the Doctor's office include, "Take a left when you enter the
trailer park."
* The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles
* The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter
* The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy
* Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month
* Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day"
* Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill
* The only 100% covered expense is embalming
* Your Viagra prescription includes a popsicle stick and some duct tape.
