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This blonde was sitting in a rowboat rowing in the middle of a field when another blonde came screeching to a halt in her car along side the field, jumped out and ran to the edge of the field. She yells out at the blonde in the rowboat...
"You know its blondes like you that give us blondes a bad name..."
"...and if I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!"
Laws Of Combat Operations:-
Friendly fire isn't
Recoiless rifles aren't
You are not Superman, Marines and Fighter Pilots take note
If its stupid and it works, it isn't stupid.
If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
The enemy attacks on two occasions. When theyre ready and when your not.
All five second grenades burn down in three secondsTeamwork is important, it gives the enemy someone to shoot at.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around youWhen you have secured the area, make sure the enemy know it too.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
The only thing more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire.
If the enemy are within range so are you!
Anything an get you killed, including nothing.
Tracers work both ways.
Professional soldiers are right, the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
Military Intellgance is a contradiction.
If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed toward you.
Fly high you'll die, low & slow it'll go.
The cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
Mines are equal oportunity weapons.
Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Its not the one with your name on it. its the one addressed to "whom it may concern"
The most dangerous thing on the battlefield is an officer with a map.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
The enemy always times his attack, to the second you drop your pant's in the latrine.
The enemy usuaslly attacks on two occasions, when they are ready and
when youre not.
Field experience is something you don't get until after you need it.
The peak of Mt Everest would flood if an Army unit where to set up camp on it.
Four wheel drive just means you get stuck in more innaccesable places.
If you don't care where you are, you aint lost.
There is no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Its better to give than to receive.
And, Have a nice day!
New York Giants Football Club are on the lookout for some new talent and send a scout to Iraq where they find a fantastic new player.
The Giants manager flies to Baghdad to watch him play and is suitably impressed, so he arranges for him to come over to New York.
Two weeks later The Giants are down against The Eagles with only 15 minutes left. The Manager gives the young Iraqi the nod and in he goes.
The lad is sensational, he scores 5 touchdowns and wins the game for The Giants.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in American Football. "Hello mum, guess what - I played for 15 minutes today, scored 5 touchdowns and won the game. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day...while you were having a great time, your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters."
The young lad is very upset, "What can i say mum, I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?!!" says his mum, "Its your fault we moved to New York in the first place!"
With appologies and I hope all you Yank's can laugh at this! :wavey:
LMFAO!!!! I grew up in WASH D.C., that's not too far off a description of my neighborhood!!!!
hmmm, i think its kinda funny when europeans make jokes about american sports/ cities...:P