You Know you're a Redneck when....
Q: What do a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?
A: Either way somebody loses a trailer home!
You know you're a redneck if your wife wants to take a bath but
you have to move the transmission from the tub first.
You know you're a red neck when you go to family reunions to
pick up chicks!
If you've been married three times and your in-laws ain't changed
then you might just be a redneck.
If a sign reads say no to crack and you pull up your pants then
you might just be a redneck.
You know you are a redneck when you mow your lawn and find a
car.
You know you are a redneck when your favorite shirt is illegal in
more then 15 states.
You know you are a redneck when you shut your car door and your
gun makes you a sun-roof.
You might be a redneck if your exhaust system incorporates more
than three wire hangers and at least two juice cans.
You might be a redneck if you think "fat-free" means undoing
your belt and the first 3 buttons.
You know you're a redneck when you think marriage vows are what
your father-in-law promised to do to you if you didn't marry his
daughter.
You might be a redneck if an intimate evening at home consists
of sharing the remote.
You might be a redneck if it's easier to rotate your home than
your TV antenna.
You might be a redneck if you use old newspapers in more than 3
ways in your home.
You know you're a redneck if you stare at the Orange Juice
container because it says "Concentrate."
You know you're a redneck when some one yells "hoe down" and
your wife drops to the floor!
You might be a redneck if you can relate to the following
statements:
1) "Nothing says lovin' like lovin’ your cousin!"
2) "Why go across town when you can go across the hall?"
3) "If you can't keep it in the pants then keep it in the
family."
You know you're a redneck when your family tree is a wreath.
You know you're a redneck when your town minister is also your town
plumber.
You know you're a redneck when your front porch collapses and
kills more than three dogs.
You have a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren't.
You know you're a redneck when you have seven cars in your
driveway, but only one works.
What was the last thing the redneck said before he died?
"Hey y'all, watch this!"
You know you're a redneck if your Thanksgiving turkey was once a
family pet!
You might be a redneck if you wear cowboy boots with shorts
