Snoring Dog.

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.

The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
"Yeah right!" she thinks.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Finally, muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.

The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and immediately begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks that maybe the ribbon will work on him too. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husband's testicles.
Amazingly, it also works on him! She then sleeps soundly.
He wakes in a drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says, "I don't know where we were or what we done… but, by **** we took 1st and 2nd place!"

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