Sick but funny!

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
>
> 1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
> 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
> 3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
> 4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
> 5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
> 6 "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
> 7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
> 8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
> 9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
> 10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
> 11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
> 12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
> And the best one of all...
> 13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"