HeHe..

A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground and told him to 'Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.' "

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" he asked.

The Man replied, "Just a few minutes ago."

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their own moonshine operations.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table who is eating a sandwich begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swaller?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her butt cheek a lap with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there "Hind Lick Maneuver", but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

:lolup: :icon_beer.gif: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl:

both jokes well done

:luxhello.gif: :LolLolLolLol: :luxhello.gif: :rofl: