Sex Truisms

[Legolas]

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things
that money can buy." --Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." --Lynn
Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." --Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are
unimportant." --George Burns

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading." --
Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid
problem?" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.Golf
is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." -- Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he
never forgets sex, no matter how bad it is." -- Barbara Bush (Former US
First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor.)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals
through his wallet." -- Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only
time of the month that I can be myself." -- Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -- Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So, what's the problem?" -- Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know
what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."-- Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." -- Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough
blood to run one at a time." -- Robin Williams

[Rot]

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." --Camille Paglia :P

[Edited on 2-16-2003 by Rot]

[U.J.J.]

Ladies likes sex best with guys with a U and a J or two in thier name......... U.J.J.

[Legolas]

Originally posted by U.J.J.
Ladies likes sex best with guys with a U and a J or two in thier name......... U.J.J.

That's your story and your stuck with it!:P

[Rot]

Originally posted by U.J.J.
Ladies likes sex best with guys with a U and a J or two in thier name......... U.J.J. What's that stand for?......U and Johson Jelly? :P J/K

[U.J.J.]

Originally posted by Rot

Originally posted by U.J.J.
Ladies likes sex best with guys with a U and a J or two in thier name......... U.J.J. What's that stand for?......U and Johson Jelly? :P J/K

Good one Rot :thumb: Yeah well now you mention it i once new a lady who liked to use stuff like that, we call it KY jelly, its like a lube whether you need it or not lol;)

Or unless you actually mean vaseline and thats a big no no , specially if its with guy. :4: :lol4: