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Charger
01-27-2005, 11:59 AM
One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

J_Dawg
01-27-2005, 07:50 PM
:rofl: :rofl: haahaha

Bluetiereign
01-28-2005, 12:18 AM
Charger...Charger...Charger...

All of this work to do back there in the office... and you are out here telling jokes..

Shame on you.. but that was funny.

Charger
01-29-2005, 03:41 AM
(They never let me have any fun here at CPD...it's, "Charger take out the trash"..."Charger, can you change my ink cartrage"..."Charger, run to McDonalds and get me a burger"...hum bugs!)

This ones funny to...

This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 dollars. She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet -- the guys at the factory bet him 50 dollars that he wouldn't stick his taliwhacker in the pickle slicer.
The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact. He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.
“But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband.

Bluetiereign
01-29-2005, 06:16 AM
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains
without water.

His horse has already died of thirst.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last
breath, when all of a sudden; he sees an object sticking out of the
sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what
looks to be an old brief case.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull gray dress.

There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind
one ear.

"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work. You have three
wishes."

"I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust an
IRS genie."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks
like you're a goner anyway!"

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie
is right.

"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.
And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good
one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... "I wish that no
matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF***

He turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story:

If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string
attached.

W@tchtower*CFS*
01-29-2005, 10:52 AM
So, your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing.
You're okay with it because you get to watch sports all night. You
hear her stumble into bed around 4. You wake up next morning and go <BR>outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night. You are happy <BR>to see it all in one piece.







But.....wait a minute ...........What the?.....












http://www.freewebs.com/c4cfs/volvo.jpg

Lt.zero
02-04-2005, 12:01 PM
hey charger you are the best person ever, so buzz off man i own you :boxe:

J_Dawg
02-04-2005, 04:21 PM
hey charger you are the best person ever, so buzz off man i own you :boxe:

say wha??


( Blue, you need to change something, cuz I dont like having to use at least 10 charecters to post a message)

Charger
02-04-2005, 04:30 PM
hey charger you are the best person ever, so buzz off man i own you :boxe:

I'll send you the $12 for that plug tomarrow... :biere.gif:


( Blue, you need to change something, cuz I dont like having to use at least 10 charecters to post a message)

..an I'm wid'him on that one. :(

Lt.zero
02-10-2005, 10:50 AM
those are ok jokes charger but here is one,once upon a time there was a little boy sitting in the tub ans he examed his testicals and said mommy and there my brains? and mommy said not yet hunny

HUTCH SC95
02-10-2005, 03:40 PM
LT. Zero was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of dog crap. Curious, the LT. Zero walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of s#&%?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of s@#&, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SGT. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of s@*&, was asked by the 1SGT "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SGT. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough to build an officer"

Lt.zero
02-10-2005, 04:18 PM
funny joke,well thats the best until i can pull on out of my pocket

:Blasting_anim.gif:

Charger
02-12-2005, 03:00 AM
Good one Hutch. :icon_super.gif:

Lt.zero
03-01-2005, 05:47 PM
It's awsome charger

Lt.zero
03-01-2005, 05:49 PM
Thanks for sig

Charger
03-01-2005, 09:58 PM
No prob.

HUTCH SC95
03-02-2005, 01:23 AM
I like how you put the o as the chamber of the gun

good 1 charger, nice job

and with all due respect LT.....(hehehehe).... :naughty.gif: .. it is called a Rifle.....and the O is in the Muzzle. the Chamber is were the unfired round sits prior to the firing pin hitting the cap were by the round discharges....moving the Bullet up the Barrel , then exiting thru the Muzzle...and if properly aim'd this action will elminate you enemy....increasing you chances dieing of old age.

please never look in the muzzle if the Rifle is loaded it just maybe the last bright light you see.

:LolLolLolLol: :Smile J-k: :LolLolLolLol:

J_Dawg
03-02-2005, 08:27 AM
:LolLolLolLol: :new_shocked: :brutal173.gif:


lol

HUTCH SC95
03-02-2005, 07:58 PM
http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/2461/flyin_egg_fight.swf

Charger
03-03-2005, 03:47 PM
Nice one HUTCH... :yelclap.gif:

comanche4_man
03-18-2005, 09:22 PM
Officer, i swear to drunk i'm not god. :comeandgetsome.gif:

J_Dawg
03-18-2005, 11:29 PM
uuuhhhh, ok