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View Full Version : ZEN THOUGHTS FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY



Legolas
09-25-2003, 09:25 PM
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.


:bouncing::smilegrin:

Edward
09-25-2003, 10:10 PM
right on

LadyHawke
09-26-2003, 08:54 AM
Aren't those one-liners from Steven Wright's comedy routine??? :agree.gif:

Legolas
09-26-2003, 07:23 PM
Originally posted by LadyHawke
Aren't those one-liners from Steven Wright's comedy routine??? :agree.gif:

They may very well be. A old HS friend sent them to me and I thought these were hysterical and had to pass them on here! :icon_super.gif:

[Edited on 9-26-2003 by Legolas]

Edward
09-26-2003, 10:18 PM
here's me bro lmao

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/noughty/bootyshake.gif

Anthony
09-27-2003, 03:33 PM
:LolLolLolLol:

HUTCH SC95
09-27-2003, 03:35 PM
LMAO..........TOO COOL

Exterminater
09-27-2003, 04:08 PM
Im with hutch on this one:1drink.gif:

Rot
09-27-2003, 06:54 PM
Some very good ones in there. :)
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. :P

watkins
09-27-2003, 07:13 PM
Dogs run on the beach while birds fly high in the sky eating worms.

--Gkintah 545 A.D.